Gary

The church I attended growing up, St. John’s Evangelical United Church of Christ, was the sponsor of a children’s home on St. Charles Rock Road. In the late 1960’s my parents made the admirable decision to sponsor kids from the home. Basically it was kind of part-time foster care. The goal was to have a child or children, those without family, come stay with you for the holidays and over summer break. In 1970 Gary came to stay with us. He was my age. Nine going on ten. I remember going to pick up Gary at the children’s home. We were only inside briefly, but I remember thinking how sad it was. It just felt empty. The beds were in a dormitory style. No child had much of their own space or possessions. It also amazes me how many children were there. Children without families or loved ones to take care of them. It was all just said. Despite living in this environment, I found Gary to be a surprisingly upbeat kid who looked on the brighter side of things. I never knew what happened with his parents, but they were not there for him. Gary was super focused on getting adopted and finding a forever home. Gary came with us for the Christmas holiday. My mom treated him just like my sister and me. He got lots of gifts. More importantly, I feel like my parents and grandmothers showed him the love and affection that were missing in his everyday life. We spent the Christmas holiday playing with new toys and being outside in the snow. We were just being kids. When it came time to take Gary back to the children’s home it was sad. Gary worked the adoption angle hard with my mom. In the end, we left him with the promise of a week-long visit for Easter. Gary came back for Easter and again over the summer. We had fun just playing and enjoying our time. But always hanging over things was Gary looking for his forever home. That was not to be us. That summer was the last time we saw him. I never really knew what happened. That’s all over fifty years ago. I often wonder what happened to Gary. Where is he today? And how did his life turn out.

Looking back now, I realize how deeply that experience shaped my understanding of love, loss, and the importance of family. Gary was just one of thousands of children then—and still today—who grow up in the foster care system, often without the consistent love and security that every child deserves. While the system has evolved in many ways, there are still far too many children waiting for stable homes and caring adults to show up for them. I think about Gary often, and I hope he eventually found the kind of family he longed for. His story reminds me that sometimes the smallest gestures—a holiday visit, a few weeks of normalcy—can leave a lifelong impact.